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Fun With Barry Bonds!

What do you want to bet ESPN somehow picks up ALL of our games in this series? FUN. Especially since I Tivo the late ones and therefore do not have the option of listening along with the radio instead . . . just kick their asses, boys.


Last night, on the midnight flight to San Francisco . . .

Andruw: What a crappy series.
Willie: It wasn't all bad.
Chipper: Yeah, we did split it with them. And you homered in the opener.
Andruw: But Tony LaRussa yelled at me!!
Chipper: Well, Terry told him off for you, didn't he?
Andruw: Yeah, but then they hit Heap in retalliation! Out of all us they picked Heap, Chipper? The Cardinals are mean.
Chipper: Well, whatever. At least the Giants suck. Tomorrow's gonna be a long day. Or today, I should say, ugh.

Heap: /asleep
Frenchy: /pokes his arm
Frenchy: Hey, wake up, we're here! Gaw, Heap, you're always sleeping!
Heap: /rubs eyes, puts on his glasses
Heap: Frenchy, I just took a six hour midnight flight, what the hell do you expect? Look around, everyone else is tired, too.
Frenchy: /glances around at players who are yawning and complaining about ESPN
Heap: Man, I can't wait to get in bed! I hope the drive to the hotel won't be long.
Frenchy: You didn't even play tonight! Maybe Saltalamacch has a point, ya old codger.
Heap: /punches him
Frenchy: Hey, ow!

The players walk off the plane and through the airport. There is some sort of commotion at the exit, where the team bus is waiting . . .

Bobby: What the hell's all this?
Reporter: Oh my God, here they come!! It's the Braves!
Salty: /steps forward, grinning
Salty: Sorry, fellas, what can I say! I can't go anywhere without getting my picture taken, what a nuisance! Better give the people what they want, though--
Reporter: /runs to Smoltz
Reporter: What's it like to know that tomorrow you will be pitching to THE Barry Bonds!!
Smoltz: Well, I've pitched to him before--
Reporter: Yes but not when he was about to BREAK THE HOME RUN RECORD!!
Smoltz: Right, I understand that--
Reporter: As a Brave, do you feel TOTALLY BETRAYED that Atlanta's most revered sports record is about to be broken?!
Smoltz: Well -- uh -- maybe you should talk to Huddy. He's pitching Tuesday, much more likely to have the record breaker hit off of him--
Reporter: /runs over to Huddy
Huddy: /gives Smoltz a dirty look
Smoltz: /smirks and runs for the bus
Huddy: /holds up a hand
Huddy: I have prepared a statement.
Huddy: /pulls a piece of paper from his pocket
Huddy: /clears throat
Huddy: "No."
Reporters: /stare

Reporter: That's your statement?
Huddy: /nods
Huddy: /runs for the bus

Heap: /yawning
Reporter: Brian McCann!! What does it feel like to be taking part in this historic event??
Heap: /blinks
Heap: What?
Reporter: The home run record! Breaking!! Very possibly against YOUR TEAM!! You were just on the All-Star team with Bonds, HOW DOES THAT COMPLICATE THINGS?!
Reporter: /shoves microphone in his face
Heap: /looks around
Heap: Um. Is that a television camera?
Reporter: Yes! You're live on TV!!
Heap: /face goes red
Heap: Um, well, er
Frenchy: What he means to say that is he's very excited, but we still want to win! We don't want Bonds hitting any homers against us, nope! But we can still appreciate the gravity of this moment in history.
Reporter: /wipes tear
Reporter: That was beautiful! Are you the PR rep for the Braves?
Frenchy: I'm the rightfielder. But, yes. Please direct all questions to me.
Salty: /pops up behind Heap's shoulder, waving his arms toward the camera
Salty: OH MY GOD AM I ON TV???
Reporter: Er--yes.

Reporter: /awkward silence
Heap and Frenchy: /run for the bus
Reporter: /turns to camera
Reporter: Ha! Well, as you can see, even the bat boys are excited!


I hate that Buddy will probably pitch the last game of this series. I like him, and I don't want him to remembered as the guy who gave up 756 or what have you.

Thanks to Leah for the picture of Heap wearing his glasses. I'll treasure it always.

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