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Elmer Dessens Files for Free Agency... Who'd a-thunk?

Holy crap, I had totally forgotten that our season had sunk so low that we had signed Elmer f-ing Dessens back in late August. Well, he's headed back to free agency, after filing yesterday. I saw this story on and said to myself, "why are they putting other teams' news on our site," then I remembered that we had acutally allowed a roster spot to be occupied by this hapless arm for part of the year.

To try and cope, I made a list (it didn't help). Here is the 2008 you'll-never-remember-they-were-Braves-nor-will-you-want-to-remember top-10 list:

  1. Elmer Dessens, RHP - A 22.50 ERA that wasn't even the worst on the team.
  2. Matt DeSalvo, RHP - His 31.50 ERA was the worst on the team.
  3. Jason Perry, OF - And we thought it couldn't get any worse than Jeff Francoeur in right field.
  4. Julian Tavarez, RHP - I just don't... I just think... He just doesn't... something in me just says I shouldn't like him.
  5. Chris Resop, RHP - Remember when we all thought it was cool because he was a hard-thrower?
  6. Ruben Gotay, IF - I still cannot believe we wasted a roster spot on this guy for the entire season.
  7. Royce Ring, LHP - More like Royce Reek.
  8. Chuck James, LHP - No, seriously, he gave up one homerun ever three innings pitched.
  9. Vladimir Nunez, RHP - He wasn't really that bad, but I don't think anyone really cares.
  10. Corky Miller, C - Weight = 220 lbs... batting average = .083... I'm assuming the 220 is generous, so that means he didn't hit his weight, he hit a third of his weight.

I was acutally amazed (then extrememly saddened) that I made it to ten. Then I got a crazy thought and did this list, the you'll-never-remember-that-we-thought-they-could-help-but-they-never-made-it-to-the-majors top-10 list:

  1. Scott Spiezio, IF - He liked the bottle a bit too much.
  2. Jason Phillips, C - The begoggled one.
  3. Joe Borchard, OF - Remember when we wanted him to make the team out of spring training?
  4. Sal Fasano, C - The mustached one.
  5. Damian Moss, LHP - Aussi, Aussi, Aussi... Suck, Suck, Suck
  6. Brian Lawrence, RHP - His ERA was almost twice what Chuck James' was.
  7. Scott Williamson, RHP - It's kind-a sad how far he's fallen.
  8. Andy Shiblio, RHP - Who the f.
  9. Matt DeSalvo, RHP - Worth listing again.
  10. Scott Thorman, 1B - Does anyone else miss Thor?

Again, I couldn't believe I made it to ten.

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