Bob McKenzie: My brother and I haven't watched much baseball, but in Canada that sort of makes us like an expert on the subject, because like no one knows anything about baseball, eh.
Doug McKenzie: Yeah, pretty much the only reason people go to the games is because they sell beer and sausages.
Bob McKenzie: Hey, I've got this really disturbing book of great baseball quotes, I figure we should read some of these quotes to the folks at home.
Doug McKenzie: Well hurry up and read them off you nob, so we can go back to drinking more beer.
Bob McKenzie: This one's from Rogers Hornsby.
Doug McKenzie: He's the one they named the Rogers Centre after, eh?
Bob McKenzie: Yeah, he's the one. He said, "People ask me what I do in winter when there's no baseball. I'll tell you what I do. I stare out the window and wait for spring."
Doug McKenzie: I'll tell you what he really does, he stays inside and drinks beer. What a nob.
Bob McKenzie: Actually I think he's implying beer drinking. I mean, what do we do in the winter when we've had a lot of beer to drink? We stare out the window, eh.
This next quote comes from Roy Campanella.
Doug McKenzie: I wonder if they named those candles that keep bugs away after him, eh.
Bob McKenzie: Yeah I think they did. This hoser said "You gotta be a man to play baseball for a living, but you gotta have a lot of little boy in you, too."
Doug McKenzie: What a hoser. I mean that's just sick, eh. Do you have any "good" quotes?
Bob McKenzie: Here's one from Mickey Lolich, "All the fat guys watch me and say to their wives, 'See, there's a fat guy doing okay. Bring me another beer.'"
Doug McKenzie: Now this guy knows what he's talking about. All those other baseballers are just a bunch of nobs.
Bob McKenzie: That quote made me thirsty eh.
Doug McKenzie: Yeah, let's go get some more beers.