Somehow this post doesn’t already exist. Sure, it is mentioned in several in another article, but not with the level of excitement and joy needed: Mike Soroka is back! As expected, he was dominant:

No more strikeouts in the fourth, but still scoreless and was touching 94. https://t.co/1CFp7PVF8d

— Eric Cole (@leprekhan) August 16, 2022

As every reasonable, red-blooded, tomahawk chopping Braves fan knows, Maple Maddux’s return is the most anticipated return short of Christ’s and the similarities are striking. Simply replace the descent with the clouds from the perfection of heaven with his descent from the Great White North, Marge Simpson’s clean and bland home, and you begin to see the similarities. Sure, Soroka didn’t rise from the dead, but many wrote him off as such when he suffered a second Achilles tear. Maybe touching his uniform won’t heal your sick daughter, but your faith may be similarly rewarded with postseason success. Just don’t waver in your faith (also known as not starting him in game 5 of a series)!

We all knew Mike would be successful regardless of injuries once we heard him talk baseball. He could later decide to be a pitching coach, manager, GM, announcer or even... guitarist?!? His talent truly knows no bounds! For now, however, we get to revel in the majesty of his pitching excellence. And for those that feared his returning form would just be a shell of his former existence, keep dreaming enemy hitters! Mike himself, a man with no equal when it comes to pitching knowledge, had a little to say about his sinker:

Mike said that his sinker at this moment is the best it has ever been. Not a bit of equivocation in his answer. https://t.co/QIRAtMeGqf

— Eric Cole (@leprekhan) August 17, 2022

And, with that, I say rejoice Braves’ fans! He is coming! Finally, I may one day be convinced to share my lyrics (for which my wife teases me relentlessly) but for now enjoy this version of happiness: